HALLELUIAH!!! I AM RICH!!!!

HALLELUIAH!!! I AM RICH!!!!

Today, I received the following letter:

From: c i Reply-To: Subject: Dear GomezDate: Mon, 10 Sep 2007 08:43:24 +0000

Dear Gomez,

Mr. Charles Ishmeal, a Banker and accountant with the BIAO BANK Abidjan.
I am the personal accounts manager to Mr. Robert Gomez, a National of your country, who used to work with an oil servicing company here in Cote Ivoire.

My client, his wife, and their three children were involved in the Kenya Airways crash in the coasts of Abidjan in January 2000 in which all passengers on board died. Since then I have made several inquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives but all my effort has not been successful. After several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his last name over the Internet,to see if I could locate any member of his family hence I contacted you.

Our deceased client (Mr.Robert Gomez) has an account valued to ($ 6 million US Dollars). The management of our bank have issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or the bank will declare the account unserviceable and thereby send the funds to the bank treasury.

Since I have not been successful in locating the relatives of the late Mr.Robert Gomez, I will seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased client since you have the same last names, so that the proceeds of this account valued at ($ 6 million US dollars) can be paid to you and then you and I can share the money.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through.I guarantee that this will be executed under all legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law. In your reply, If you can handle this deal with me, reach me now through this e-mail box for more details. Anticipating your cooperation.

Sincerely,
Charles Ishmeal.

Thank God for the Internet and the hard work of Mr. Ishmeal. I am stunned. I have never been so happy to hear of someone death, much less of an unknown relative. God Bless Them!!! The Lord does work in misterious ways.

I haven't decided what to do with my inheritance, but I must reply to Mr. Ishmeal at once.

Dear Ishmeal,

You have affected me with sudden and great wonder news of my long lost relative timely death. I need the money. It was good that they all died together, lets hustle for you and me, don't you think? By the way, there are no more relatives, you may stop looking for them.

Six million dollars, eh? Hey you have done a great service by locating me, therefore, I think we should split the loot 50/50 if it is agreeable with you.

You can count on my honest cooperation just as much as I can count on yours. I am sure you will do your best to execute it under the most illegimate arrangements the law allows it. Please feel free to contact my lawyer, Barrister Mohamed Ibrahim, of Victory Chambers who will grease the path with all the official documents needed.

Anticipating the money.

Sincerely,
Dear Gomez.

As I was writing the letter, I thought about the money and the things that I could do with it. I decided I will give it all to the wonderful work of the Televangelists, I love their lifestyle and besides I hope they put a good word with the Lord about Mr. Ishmeal and me.

Who is on first, what is on sec... Where am I????

Breaking News. President Bush traveled out of this world without his medicines.
Congressional investigation pending. “Much ado about nothin’!!!” Fox Noise Networks claims.

In a televised speech in Australia, President Bush seemed to be very thankful to the Australian Prime minister John Howard “for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit” and for the service his “Austrian troops” provide in Iraq. Unfortunately, his medicines were at home, and he did not realized that Australia was hosting the Asian-Pacific Economic Co-operation (APEC) forum, and that the Australian Prime Minister have no authority over the Austrian troops (which may, or may not have been in Iraq at all, but that is besides the point). In a true Mr. Magoo moment, according to CBCNEWS, “He [Bush] strode away from the lectern on a path that would have sent him over a steep drop. Howard and others redirected him to centre stage [HOW UNFORTUNATE, I THINK], where there were steps leading down to the floor of the theatre.”

Earlier during his visit, according to the Sydney Morning Herald of Australia, the president gave a more-to-the-point assessment of Iraq to Australia Deputy Prime Minister Mark Vaile (or to whom Bush refers as “what is his name Deputy Minister”). “We are kicking ass” Bush said to what-is-his-name after he was asked about his trip to Iraq. White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino would not confirm or deny the comment, but noted the President’s correct usage of the English language, “He said ‘We ARE kicking ass’ NOT ‘We IS kicking ass’ as some anti-American news organizations would make you believe”. I say bravo to Dana Perino.

In other Developments, Britney Spears is opening a day-care center for the rich. Dan Quayle and President Bush will confront each other on National Television to debate the English language. Gustavo will take a much needed nap.