A trip to the country

Now, I am not the type of person that pry into the conversation of others, but every once in a while you find yourself that there is no way to avoid it, such was the case a few days ago when I went to visit my daughter in North Carolina. It had been an uneventful trip, I had driven to the border of NC when I stopped for gas and to switch driving duties with my wife, I was looking forward to some relaxation as a passenger, although, it is an unwritten rule on our trips that the driver is not only the captain of the of the automobile but the commander of the radio. Here I must pause and let the reader know some important facts: 1. My wife is a born-again Christian, I am an atheist, 2. She likes Religious talk radio, I like PBS and news (other than Fox), 3. She likes country music, I prefer jazz and world music, and 4. We both prefer to turn-off the radio than to listen to the other bitch about our choice. It was under those auspicious beginning of the second leg of the trip that I eventually settled down to read the local paper I bought at the gas station's quick mart.

"Marines to issue involuntary call-ups" was the headline.

The article began "WASHINGTON: US President George W.Bush has authorised the US Marine Corps to begin the involuntary call-up of thousands of inactive marines for service in Iraq ... " - later, during her confession, my wife will tell me that what I read was " Bizarro World leader George W. Bush has ..." And that is when she decided she had enough of my company and offered me a mint knowing that the sugar will put me to sleep like a baby - I am diabetic.

It was under that state of mind that I began to involuntary hear the following conversation. I said involuntary because I had no choice, these people were inside my head and speaking very loud and clear.

"Maw" shouted the elder man "fetch them boys. Them mules need tending"
"Oh, Paw. Them boys ain't her"
"What yew saeying maw. Where they's go?"
"Paw. The president of the united state hollered fo' them"
"He did? din't he? What in Lords name he wan with them young-uns?"
"Ah cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed ... som'thin 'bout your maw"
"Maw, yew aint makin no sense"
"Paw. ah's telling yew like the lord is watchin, thats wha h'ssay"
"Ah thank ah'll have a bare while yew recollect them words"
"Set a spell, ah'll fetch a bare paw"
"Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, ah sur do hope they is back home soon"
"her is yew bare paw"
"Maw wha bout my maw Irene?"
"The president of the united state sa'd yew mawIrene was in need of help over yonder. Could them young-uns help?
"Ah says, sure 'nuff, Ah recon them could. But wha's ailin my maw-irenes?"
"what he says maw?
"Paw, som'thin or 'nother bout haven to fight furiner ailments. Ah recon is a new ill"
"What in the Sam Hill is them young-uns gonna do? them aint no doctors, bless ther hurt"
"Aint no need Paw, the president of the united state sa'd he learn them everwhichways"
"Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday, maw"

It is about this point when the loud screech of a car's brake and the thump of a head against a dash-board woke me up